Headlights

Winter driving is different than summer driving not just because of snow, ice and the extra time it takes to cover distance but because of darkness.

Our automotive stock today has a built-in solution.  We turn a knob or flip a switch and ‘let there be light’.  We can now see where we’re going and others can see us as well.

For headlights, we thank you, God.

Since I have only 4 miles between job and home, I am not always cloaked in blackness when commuting.  Frequently, I drive in a condition known as twilight.  Even so, there is still a need for the light provided by headlights as nothing is perfectly clear.

But here’s what I haven’t noticed before.  A LOT of drivers embrace the darkness.  The tool-of-light remains untouched.  They prefer the surprise of an obscure path to one of enlightenment. Their dashboards remain invisible to their eyes while their vehicles remain invisible to others.

Peacefulness

I’ve always thought windmills are beautiful. These mammoth towers are planted in fields, on hills and even in oceans.  When I was in Minnesota, I made a pilgrimage to a wind-farm in-progress.  A delivery had been made and I was able to get pretty close to one of the rotor blades lying supine on the field.  I had no idea how big they actually are!

There’s something about the peacefulness I see when driving by one of these farms.  There’s something about the heaven-reaching white pillars with agonizingly slow blades turning against the robin-blue backdrop of the sky.  From the road, they just look like, well life at rest in a way.

If you search Google for 'windmills', it takes less than a second to reveal 108 million results including pictures and opinions of all types.  Like any topic today, some of us promote favor and some strenuously object.

From the Foe

I won’t call this a New Year resolution, but something MUST be done.  Last year was a long and stress-filled year.  I gained weight; a lot of weight.  And it seemed rather sudden.  So, a change to a mostly plant based diet replacing sauces with spices is just part of the required change.

I’m again walking at the vacant mall near the office every day as well.  Typically, I listen to Pandora while trudging past empty store fronts. It gives me something to concentrate on because those empty retail spaces use their display glass to reflect back to me what I actually look like. I do NOT want to look!

After plugging into the app, I started my daily journey hearing the words “You guard me from the foe”.  This is part of the refrain from You Are Near, by David Schutte. In a previous life, this favorite had been sung in choir countless times.

Conflicted Mind and Soul

There are so many times that I believe and nearly come to tears when facing the self-sacrificial love of the Cross.  The impact of nature, the wide-open unconditional love of a child, or perhaps a blessing of unimaginable grace can bring me to my knees in gratitude.  Sometimes I even feel this in tragedy and loss.

And nearly immediately, I feel like I’m manipulating my relationship with God.

My heart says, “Thank you, I love you.”
My mind says, “You’re just saying that to get what you want.”
It torments me, this dichotomy.