Conflicted Mind and Soul

There are so many times that I believe and nearly come to tears when facing the self-sacrificial love of the Cross.  The impact of nature, the wide-open unconditional love of a child, or perhaps a blessing of unimaginable grace can bring me to my knees in gratitude.  Sometimes I even feel this in tragedy and loss.

And nearly immediately, I feel like I’m manipulating my relationship with God.

My heart says, “Thank you, I love you.”
My mind says, “You’re just saying that to get what you want.”
It torments me, this dichotomy.

Someone Is Missing

Yes, it’s time.  For the past 6 years, I have been using what is called Word-of-the-Year as a spiritual focal point.  And, up until this year, I’ve known what that word would be a month or so ahead of time.  I have looked forward to creating the visuals and changing the passwords that incorporate this word into my daily routines. The list through 2019:

• Deeper (Go Deeper)
• Shema (Listen – be aware - Act)
• Seek
• Enough
• Reliance (Trust)
• Sequence (Ones and Zeros)