Conflicted Mind and Soul

There are so many times that I believe and nearly come to tears when facing the self-sacrificial love of the Cross.  The impact of nature, the wide-open unconditional love of a child, or perhaps a blessing of unimaginable grace can bring me to my knees in gratitude.  Sometimes I even feel this in tragedy and loss.

And nearly immediately, I feel like I’m manipulating my relationship with God.

My heart says, “Thank you, I love you.”
My mind says, “You’re just saying that to get what you want.”
It torments me, this dichotomy.