In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

Every so often, I think about the plans made over the years. Some were usefully completed, but many of them - not so much. In fact, some were outrageous disasters. But there are also the unfulfilled, the ones let go but not forgotten. 

Going back a decade or two, a little reminiscing resurrects one of those ‘unfulfilled but not forgotten’ plans. After spending a few weeks in Costa Rica, I began to plan the move. Yes, I would be one of those ex-pats living in a foreign country. 

So, what brought this to mind now?  

If you have read Atomic Habits, you might already like James Clear. You might already be a subscriber to his weekly newsletter. I sometimes make notes and today I came across this article.

3-2-1: The most important habit, the difference between ambition and entitlement, and friendship. 

There are a few good points made in this newsletter, but the one I am focused on today is II:

"Ambition is when you expect yourself to close the gap between what you have and what you want.

Entitlement is when you expect others to close the gap between what you have and what you want."

James Clear

This had been one of my reasons for the decision to move to another country. I had noticed that things here seemed to be changing. People were more self-centered, more likely to be me-over-we, more determined that I-am-first and you – well, whatever. 

It seemed to me that as a culture, we were becoming entitled to being entitled. We were becoming less I-can-do-this, I-will-help-you-do-this, and more get-out-of-the-way-of-my-God-given-freedoms. 

In the early 2000s, I wanted to go back to the culture of my imagination. That spoke to a world where people smiled at each other, opened doors for each other, and gave the right-of-way to another motorist with a friendly wave. 

But here’s the thing. This plan remains unfulfilled for a couple of good reasons.  The first was family. Would I really want to be living in another country when future (and now present) grandchildren were growing up?  And secondly, that culture of my imagination thing? Well, that’s true and not true at the same time.  I’m not talking about Schrödinger’s Cat here. I’m saying that I failed to realize that I was seeing only what I was focused on. I could change that anytime I wanted. 

I’ve found myself immersed in the news lately and again, thinking about the definitions given by James Clear. I still agree with what he has to say about ambition vs entitlement. I still agree with my assessment that we’ve become more self-centered and entitled as a people group. But I’ve come to disagree with my interpretation that it’s unforgivably widespread. I don’t believe that we’ve crossed the line of no return. I no longer accept that change is futile.

I have recognized that:

• There are great people everywhere. I think all I need to do is open my eyes and notice them.
• There are kind and generous people everywhere. Perhaps spending less time reading only about conflict is creating a jaded and combative mindset. I think all I need to do is look for the good and then celebrate it whenever and wherever it is found.
• Although none of us can live reflecting the life of Jesus all the time, all of us can live reflecting the life of Jesus some of the time. And when we do, it allows us to do so more often. 

Costa Rica is a beautiful place - heaven on earth the way I see it. I can imagine being happy there. But I no longer feel that it consists only of kind and generous people. That isn’t the human condition. But as easily as I found these people in this paradise of natural beauty, I would also find corruption if I looked for it – just like here. 

The answer isn’t a major change of habitation. The answer is found between my ears as I look for the good in others as well as working to increase the good in myself. The answer is found by noticing when I am not living a life reflective of His. And, once noticed, repent with revised actions. 

I'm quite sure I have offered this one up on several occasions. I guess I'm still working on this one.

"Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies." Philippians 4:8

Today's Article Title is a direct quote from Jennifer Dukes Lee