Opposite of Love - Part I

The other day, I walked by a discussion centered on this question.  What is the opposite of love?  I eavesdropped for a few moments.  There were a number of words offered for the definition and this list is by no means exhaustive.  What does it mean to you?

• Fear
• Apathy
• Hate
• Indifference
• Judgment
• Selfishness
• Repulsion
• Manipulation

At one time or another, maybe all of these words might legitimately be applied. But then I thought, "Why are we concerned with the opposite of love?  Should we not be seeking a way of defining love itself?"



As Christians, "They will know us by our love for each other" (John 35:13) is frequently cited in church circles. However, I believe that Christians are rarely described by others in this way.

As with defining the antonym, the synonyms of love will indicate many nuances and interpretations depending on our background, our situation and even our particular mood when this question is asked. So where can we go for the answer?

Human interactions that help us emotionally experience love are most evident at weddings.  At nearly every wedding I've attended, 1 Corinthians 13 shows up in the readings.  This is the day two people are united before God in marriage.  This is the day that the love they feel for each other is on full display for all to see.  During the ceremony, we might relive emotion-filled reflections as we look at our spouse and our families. We can experience this love all over again.

I wonder if we're missing something though.  Once we leave the church, we go back to living life as we always live life.  We leave the readings behind because well, the wedding is over, right?

But I think the interesting issue here is that the verses read at the wedding were not just for the bride and groom as they begin a life together.  They are for all of us as we live each day in the world.  The words spoken from the pulpit were meant for day to day interactions.  They are not to be left as an echo of ceremony but as a mantra for life.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.  If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

How do you define love?

Part II next week . . .