Think.
Find one example that found you blown away when witnessing kindness bestowed on another person. Think about your reaction.
- Were you touched so deeply that you found your eyes watering?
- Did you wonder, “Why isn’t it normal for the world and its people to be like this – all the time?”
- Do you remember a similar time when you made a difference for someone else?
- Remember a time when you might have, with the best of intentions, tried to make a difference but were rejected or manipulated. Did it leave a bitterness that proclaimed, “Never again!”?
- Did you find yourself recalling a time when you could have acted kindly, you could have made a difference, and yet did not?
I’d be willing to bet that most of us would answer those questions the same way, even though the triggered memories are probably very different.
I don’t know about you, but I can think of many examples for each question above.
I don’t know about you, but performing this exercise leaves me confused. We might agree that helping others is a good thing. But when we’re sitting in the pain of exploitation, is it better to protect ourselves?
When I consider the roller coaster of I should / I should not / I should / I should not, I remember one experiment from many years ago. I didn’t know it was an experiment at the time. I thought it was just sharing a gift. Here’s the gist.
Part 1 – The Setup
I used to drive 180 miles round trip to work every day. I used to stop for gas at the same station every day and I got to know a few of the people working there. One mentioned that she and her boyfriend wanted to get married, but they could not afford the license fee. A union denied for one hundred bucks? The next day, I bought a greeting card and stopped at the bank for the 100-dollar bill. When it was delivered, I saw eyes welling up. Yes, I experienced the same.
Part 2 – The Holidays
Christmas was fast approaching. I decided to write a letter about my gas station experience. With this letter, I enclosed one hundred dollars in envelopes suggesting that the twelve recipients would consider using it (in honor of the marriage license) when an opportunity arose. They would perhaps bless another and themselves as they made a difference in someone’s life.
Part 3 – The Mixed Bag
Although I asked that I not be informed about the decisions made concerning this gift, things happen as we all know. I found out about some of the choices. I assume that most took advantage of this opportunity to experience wet eyes, but I did hear about some who were delighted to use the funds for themselves instead.
And now, we’re back to those making-a-difference questions; Good thing or bad?
From writer Seth Godin, who knows how to write impactfully with few words (I’ll probably never get there.), I read these two sentences.
“Long after people forget the details, they’ll remember your kindness.”
“There are many forms of hospitality, but resilience, goodwill, and gratitude are often the ones that matter.”
Overcoming the feeling of being used by another would eliminate the need for self-protection. So, in the future, I think I should take the following approach:
- What I choose to do for another can make a difference in the long run and may never be forgotten, by either of us.
- When someone disappoints me, I will consider that a short-term loss - for both of us. It will then be time to forgive and move on.
And that makes the question mute. It will always be good.
Our acts of kindness can shine God's light in the corners of darkness. I'm hoping that we can step up and embrace the opportunities to do this. Certainly, our world is in need of His light.
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers". Galatians 6:9-10
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