A Better Lie

Once upon a time, two of my friends and I were called out of the Catholic grade school to the Monsignor’s office. In the eighth grade, this event was a bit ominous.

As it turns out, this interruption to our school day had nothing to do with being called out on the carpet. Well, not that carpet.  It was more a call to the carpet of green.  It seemed that the Padre’ wished to spend time with kids who knew how to play golf.

I can’t remember how it came to be that this church leader became aware of our talents, but here we were, and it was to be the first of only two excursions together.

In full view of our indoor-confined classmates, we were just beyond the panes of glass chipping, putting, and generally enjoying our good fortune!

By the time we were released from our activities, we had been invited to accompany the Pastor to an outing at Phalen Park Golf Course in St. Paul.

As the "chosen ones", we were a bit excited and maybe somewhat apprehensive as well. Admitting that, however, would not be cool.

But things did get weird.

By the third tee box, “The Children of Golf” had noticed a problem.  

If you don’t know much about the game, there comes a time on every hole when all the players have reached the green.  This is where putting begins. Usually, the furthest ball from the hole goes first. It is quite normal that the path to the hole is blocked by the golf ball of another player. It is common courtesy to ‘mark’ the location of the interfering obstacle with a small coin, ball marker, or anything at all that will not inhibit the putter’s ball as it heads for the hole.  Because we were cool, we used dimes. 

But we were not wealthy! Our host began noticing the dimes and picking them up to be placed in his pocket. All we could do was look at each other. I mean, he’s a PRIEST! There was no chance we'd tell him that he was stealing from us!

We reverted to the cheap plastic ball markers with advertising on them. They were free so when he eventually got excited about the advertising, we were not out any more cash!

As we continued to play, we were a little surprised by the ‘generosity’ of the game.  It was, perhaps, required for some unknown time restraints, but several holes were never quite legitimately completed.  It became ‘acceptable’ for us to be told, “Pick up your golf balls and let’s give everyone a par on this hole."

Remember, we were chosen because we knew how to play golf. But this was a completely unconventional game as far as we were concerned. This point was finally driven home when we ‘caught’ (that word because our sense of fair play was still well, in play) our Man of the Cloth kicking his ball out from the unfortunate bad lie to a much more advantageous one. Who does that?

Yes, we were maybe 13 years old at the time. We had no idea what we should do, so we just kept our mouths shut and enjoyed the day on a golf course. There was no locker room talk.  There was no in-the-car discussion on the way home. But when the foursome was finally liberated from our Ecclesiastic moderator, we became much more animated.  Lots of laughter.  Lots of bewilderment. Lots of questions and concerns. But mainly, laughter.

I know when I get into these storytelling moods, the question must always be, what does this have to do with anything?

I’ll just make a couple of points here.

• We were shocked at the behavior of someone who should know better.
• We were lost in the hierarchy and felt we should keep this day to ourselves – forever.
• We enjoyed the day but were uncertain that we wanted to repeat the exercise.
• We witnessed something that in our limited exposure, we had not really seen before: cheating.

With those points in mind, a few personal comments are noted.

• Understanding that we hold certain people/positions to a higher standard, I began to consider that maybe I should be holding myself to the same extraordinary standard that I apply to those in positions of leadership and authority. I see no reason for a pass as I clearly know the right thing to do. 
• A status quo that locks people into constrained and restrained places for workplace/government leaders and followers is not necessarily bad. But I can't help but think that when our culturally assigned status prevents accommodations with respect to open discussions, policies, and even beliefs, the system is far from good as well.
• It’s possible to enjoy a day even when others are not following the rules that we believe to be important. Love one another.
• That cheating for the purpose of giving ourselves a better lie, a better position, more wealth, an elevated status, or more of anything that benefits us at a cost to another can only be called a "better lie" when we are lying to ourselves.

That last statement is true in golf. A good golfer gets to be a great golfer when challenged by bad lies and then figuring out just how to make the best of it. 

The analogy works well in everyday life too. We are not promised a life consisting of good lies and great scores. But we get better at living a great life when we accept the challenges and become better people at the same time.

If you’re honest in small things,

    you’ll be honest in big things;

If you’re a crook in small things,

    you’ll be a crook in big things.

If you’re not honest in small jobs,

    who will put you in charge of the store?

No worker can serve two bosses:

    He’ll either hate the first and love the second

Or adore the first and despise the second.

    You can’t serve both God and the Bank.

Luke 16:10-13

Just a couple of follow-up notes. 

• I'll apologize for what may be some confusion with my use of the word 'lie." I suppose it might be prudent to distinguish between the verb and the noun, but I think you'll figure it out.
• If you're considering learning more about cheating at golf, this video gives you a few tips. If you'd prefer to learn about cheating in life, well I don't think any of us need to watch a video. Shamefully, it is everywhere.
• I have a few versions of the Bible that seem to be favored over others. Lately, I have been consulting The Message. I am fully aware that as a translation, some would fervently tell me that it fails. But as an easily understood paraphrase, I find it quite helpful.
• This article was inspired by a couple of things.
• I am to visit my sister in a couple of weeks.  She's been holding on to my set of golf clubs for nearly 7 years. I hope the storage fees aren't overwhelming.
• Seth Godin's Article, "Cheating at Golf"