Those ALL-IN Dads

Happy Father’s Day to all dads: those who act like dads, those who take the place of dads, those who self-identify in any way as dads, and those who might not even realize that some child out there has generously applied this title bringing you into this group called, "Dads".

Yes, there are many types of dads out there. All dads are great! But sometimes, they are - not. So, let’s boil this down to a somewhat simple definition that will help us be great more times than not.

1. We love those in our care. Check.
2. We sacrifice for those we love. Check.
3. We are always there for those who need us.  

Hard stop.

A tough day at work. A rat race, as they call it. Nothing went right and a constant feeling of being rushed has been nipping on your heels from the moment the day began. Exhausted. The couch beckons. The television beckons. Maybe a beer beckons. But indeed, peace, quiet, and a place to unwind beckons.

A little voice – an excitedly loud little voice rattles your ear. 

The disturbance is almost painful.  It’s annoying, frustrating, and contrary to everything you are trying to accomplish here.

A dismissive wave.  An evil eye is aimed along with an unsympathetic word (or two) which is meant to send this disturbance scurrying away.  Eyes close and you cover yourself in well-deserved peace!

A little voice – no longer excited, but sadly and diminutively curious says, “Can’t I even talk to you, Dad?” 

It takes little imagination to visualize the watery eyes, the trembling lips, and the rejected heart of that little person that loves you more than – well, there’s no analogy that works here.

Your eyes snap open at once and maybe even a drop of water works its way down your cheek as you look at the tiny, crestfallen dependent that cowers before you. 

You are a good dad, and you will make this better.  You will explain. You will apologize. You will hold that tender child tightly. Your words and actions will seek to soothe and comfort. You will be forgiven, and you will make promises to yourself. But your guilt and self-condemnation will inhabit your psyche for years to come.  Believe me, I know.

So, then. The last of our three defining characteristics come back to haunt us. This item appears to be critically important, and we need to put a checkmark behind that one as well. ASAP.

I read this week, two sentences in a posting by Seth Godin.

• "When you show up begrudgingly, it’s not half-hearted, it’s cold-hearted."
• "All in, or not at all."

Sometimes, we are great. Sometimes we are - not.

And sometimes, what makes us great is getting up with a new commitment in our hearts to be so - Every. Single. Day.

It's a little bit crazy, I know!  But that peace and that quiet that we so valiantly search for is found in the loving eyes of our own children.

Thank you, daughter, for making me your dad!

“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty.” 

2 Corinthians 6:18