Muscle Memory & Gratefulness - Part 3

Thinking that the case for being a grateful person was pretty much a slam-dunk (Part 1 and Part 2), I thought I'd take a second to investigate opposing thoughts.  I actually didn't think there would be any.

Surprise!  There are opposing views for everything and I should know this by now.

Interestingly enough, some naysayers make a good point or two.

Let me paraphrase a few of the objections promoted by those who feel gratitude isn't necessarily a good thing.

• People think that because they talk themselves into being grateful, they'll suddenly be happy. Voila!  Gratitude did its job.  Well, pretense isn't a magic pill for happiness.
• Bad things happen.  When they do, it doesn't help when someone runs around shouting platitudes.  And one of the biggest heard is, "There are worse things that happen to people.  You should be more grateful."  Right.  Deny my pain because it could be worse if I was born in some third world country or something.
• Keeping a journal or writing down all kinds of stuff I'm supposed to be grateful for isn't going to MAKE me be grateful. 
• I'm not interested in espousing gratitude if I don't feel grateful.  It's just another rule I'm supposed to live by.
• Gratitude isn't gratitude if it's fake.  You're either thankful or you're not.  If it's real, it isn't something we can be trained to do.  Apparently it's impossible or at least deceitful to work at being appreciative

Then, do we never 'practice virtue'?
Do we choose status quo rather than self-improvement?
Do we favor corporate over spiritual?

Gulp.  If I'm being honest, I find it hard to disagree with most of these complaints. Is it better that we offer a 'thank you' only when the enormity of the favor, or the situation or even the emotional high, slaps us full in the face requiring normal humans to show appreciation?

I'm still of the opinion that living in gratitude is desirable while at the same time, recognizing the warnings offered by the cynics;

• Don't be fake.
• Don't judge others.
• Don't make rules.
• Don't expect magic.

What I have failed to mention is that in nearly every article that I read which exercises the negative views of gratefulness, a closing paragraph or two is usually dedicated to a 'don't-throw-the-baby-out-with-the-bathwater' disclaimer. It would appear that the skeptics still recognize the value of this virtue, if not the idea of attempting to teach ourselves how to be more grateful.

Now on his way to Jerusalem, Jesus traveled along the border between Samaria and Galilee. As he was going into a village, ten men who had leprosy met him. They stood at a distance and called out in a loud voice, “Jesus, Master, have pity on us!”

When he saw them, he said, “Go, show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed.

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him—and he was a Samaritan.

Jesus asked, “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” Then he said to him, “Rise and go; your faith has made you well.”
Luke 17:11-19

Luke is telling us that 9 out of 10 of those who received the miracle of healing were so excited, they forgot to be grateful.  I am certain that no Christian today would be so neglectful.  Or would we?

I was in the early years of grade school when I heard the story of 10 lepers for the first time.  And I still remember being a little shocked that so many failed to be grateful.  (My mom is a great role-model and taught us well - Thank you, Mom).

Perhaps the disconnect comes not from the idea of living in gratitude but from the concept of training ourselves to be more aware of the things that should elicit gratitude.  Maybe the objections come from a misunderstanding that we're not really training ourselves to be quick to say thanks but to recognizing and responding to that which deserves our thanks.

Observing human nature, I find that we easily fall into routine and status quo.  We easily become complacent. When life is good, we live in an expectation that it will always be good and we deserve it.  We forget to be thankful for even the smallest things that can have an enormous effect on our lives.

While acknowledging and being truly grateful for the points made by dissenters, I will continue to work on living in default-mode gratitude.

I've found a couple of ways to do this which I will share next time.


Articles
Life Coach on the Go:  Why I'm Sick of Gratitude and Why it Might Actually be Bad for You
Thought Catalog: Practicing Gratitude is Meaningless and What You Should be Doing Instead
Pick the Brain:  Why Being Generally Grateful is a Bad Idea