I SEE You

There is a way to:

• Have better relationships with your sales contacts.
• Have better relationships with your team.
• Have better relationships with your employees.
• Have better relationships with your family and friends.
• Have better relationships with random strangers.

I was listening to a sermon the other day and was told that the people of Zimbabwe greet each with the word "Salibonani."  That's kinda' fun to say, truth be told. And when someone offers this greeting, a typical reply is "Sikhona." Again, cool word.

Wouldn't that be comparable to our greetings?  We say, "Hello, how are you?"  And someone replies, "Hey!  Good! How are you?"  But, per the speaker;

Salibonani means "I see you."
Sikhona means, "I'm here to be seen." 

We've all been told that to build rapport and more meaningful connections, we should stop, look people in the eye and actively listen to what they have to say.  Based on the idea of the Zimbabwe greeting, perhaps we should also glance at their ear as a reminder that "seeing someone is actually predicated on "hearing" them.

In our search for connection, these moments could end in laughter. They might end in tears. But NEVER would they end in fleeting, walk-right-on-by apathy.

Watch this two-and-a-half-minute YouTube video.  Maybe it will speak to you like it did to me.

Shanehipps.com

In all areas of our lives, we have varying degrees of relationships.  (Some of these relationships are defined in a previous article.)  Whether we're talking personal, business to business, employee to employer, peer to peer, or even stranger-to-stranger, I am convinced that seeing another - SEEING another - would change everything

The other day, I was in a waiting room.  Using Bluetooth headphones, I was FINALLY catching up on a number of emails that contained videos and audio clips.  Mitchell was sitting nearby and decided he wanted to talk.  I wasn't feeling so 'interactive'.  Sure, I smiled at the intruder's greeting.  I smiled in a way that said, "Hello.  Please leave me alone.  I've got these things stuck in my ears so clearly you can see that I'm busy!"

But here sits a guy who has lived his entire life in Ohio.  Observing my Minnesota license plates he wanted to talk about his favorite football team, the Vikings.  He wanted to talk about the Siberia-like tundra.  (Well, that's what he thinks of the Minnesota landscape giving generous consideration to crystal clear lakes as well).

He was making a connection.  I was avoiding the same.  That is until I remembered this unfinished article.  Grudgingly I unplugged.  And, suddenly I learned a lot about Mitchell.  I learned about his kids, the failing health of his wife, and even a pending divorce.  I FELT Mitchell's life.

I hope that I'll see Mitchell again one of these days.  But even if I don't, this '15 minute moment' was impactful. His narrative lives in me now.  He broke through 'busyness' and opened a door.  I heard his story and it made me want to hear the stories of others.

I pray that we'd give this a chance.
And, if that's truly important, then it should start with me.

"God, give me eyes to see.  Give me the strength to be seen.  Let the trials of my life be eye opening experiences and let them be the root of building relationships.  Let them be the starting point for bringing your Kingdom to earth as it is in heaven.  Let me be the legs, the arms, the eyes, the ears of compassion and of action."   Prayer by Michael Messenger 

PS - Confession:  

I try to do a little research before publishing these commentaries.  I looked up the word 'hello' on Wikipedia (Interesting) and I tried to find the Zimbabwe words mentioned above as well. There are, of course, several languages spoken in this country.  Eventually, I unearthed a couple of translations.  

My discoveries proved disheartening!  I'd already written most of the article.  And now:

Salibonani:  

• Ndebele (Northern Zimbabwe) means "Hello" (Link)
• Zulu - "We do not see each other" (Google Translate)

Sikhona:  

• Ndbele means "OK. And you?" (Link)
• Zulu - "Exist" (Google Translate)

Well, that's just totally depressing!  
But here's the thing.  Well, three things.

1. I know that the speaker spent time in Zimbabwe and maybe the words mean more in the culture than just the translations available online.  As an example, in Costa Rica, people will say “media naranja” which means “the other half of their orange.”  They are not talking about fruit. It's a reference to their wives, girlfriends, husbands, and boyfriends. It's a term of endearment.
2. Maybe the Zulu translation for Salibonani is "do we not see each other (?)" which, of course, is my preference!  And the Sikhona translation could mean 'I exist' which again, clearly favors the speaker's point.  YES!
3. However, even if we accept the online translation for these beautiful African words, the storyline remains relevant. We should crave meaningful relationships and this path is paved by engaged and active listening.  Just sayin'

SALIBONANI, everyone!